Science Fair

I'm extremely nervous about my kids looming science fair projects for several reasons.

1) Betsy signed up last year, but her plan to test hula hoops filled with water never came to fruition and she dropped out. We can't drop out this year or we become "that flaky family". Trust me, I work at a school, I know how these things work. Ssshhhh!! They don't need to know that we ARE that flaky family!

2) At the school a few weeks ago they had a bulletin board up to honor all the children who had signed up for science fair and not only were both my kids' names up there, but in a school of 850 kids, there were only about 40 names. I had just assumed everybody did it. Now I feel incredibly ambitious to have signed up not only my 4th grader, but my first grader as well.

3) Betsy is a MAJOR procrastinator. I will either have to threaten and/or bribe her to do her project or end up doing most of it for her.

4) I am really, really determined NOT to do it for her.

5) I know I'm a teacher and I have to help kids all day, but I believe this to be true about myself: my patience is finite. I'm pretty sure most of my patience has been used up by snotty 7th graders (not all of them are snotty, but they are the ones who've depleted my stores) and my own two kids are lucky they are pretty nice and pretty smart because I would probably have them taken away by children's services and lose my job or become a heroin addict if they weren't.

6) Betsy's project involves fabric dye. Lots of it. This is going to make a mess. It is inevitable that there will be dye on the carpet. I will have to throw at least 6 conniption fits about that both before and after it happens. I'm pretty sure I will make my kids cry (hey, they need fodder for their novels!)

7) Ian is going to be working with electricity. I'm really glad it will be low volts because when we asked my dad the physics major and my uncle the electrical engineer for advice, they started talking about electrons and ohms and things that made me want to plug my ears. He's in first grade. I tried to explain what an electron was, but first you have to start with an atom. Try explaining the concept of an atom to an overthinking first grader. Let alone electrons. And the idea of the electrons flowing in a river from the copper to the zinc. We're just going to stick to our question, "which kind of fruit makes the best battery?" Our prediction is lemons because we have heard people talk about battery acid and lemons are really acidic. Is that sciency enough for ya'?? I majored in math where there are no applications - we just play with pretty patterns and hope the scientists might find them useful.

8) I have a lot of ideas about the cool things they could do to make their projects super awesome. If I can't let go of my super cool ideas, I will end up doing them. That would be a bad mommy thing to do. I will get super frustrated hoping my kids will stumble upon my great ideas in their own heads. They will get super frustrated trying to think of ideas and not thinking their ideas are cool enough. I will have to hold back my own and will have to literally bite down hard on my own tongue to keep it from spilling out. My vision of science fair wonderfulness will exist only in my head. The actual projects will be slapped together at the last minute and look like it. Again, I will have to bite my tongue and be proud of those disasters. Doing that, even thinking that, I am already a bad mommy.

In conclusion, there is absolutely no way to participate in science fair and not be a bad mommy. However, all the moms who didn't let their kids sign up, or raise kids to think science was so cool that they couldn't resist signing themselves up are worse mommies. We are all bad mommies.

There is your dose of Catholic guilt for the day. Take. Eat.

Really shouldn't be writing blog posts at 3 am. Really isn't going to add to my patience level in the morning and I'm pretty sure I'm talking a lot of crazy talk. As I tell my 7th graders, not EVERY thought you have needs to be expressed. Some are better if they just stay inside your head.

July is Over.... NOW

Wow, the Summer is half over and where did it go? My life is taking on this familiar pattern. As I get older the movie "Groundhog's Day" begins to take on even deeper themes. Man that movie just never gets old. And how ironic that it is one of the FEW movies that I could watch over and over again. But after all the big changes that are the whirlwind of the first 30 years or so of living, life begins to repeat. I've had the same job for over 10 years. I've been a mom for (gasp) 8 and have been a single mom for 5. I am starting to see how things unfold. Every winter I get kind of depressed followed by excitement and anxiety of Spring. I spend Spring making plans, then I get very anxious with the end of the school year and nearly always find that I have more to do than time to do it. Then Summer is my time when I think I will get to catch up on life. But there are camping trips, beach trips, park concerts, swim lessons, catching up with friends I didn't see all year. All of which are more important than all that stuff I think just HAS to be done. And yet, all that stuff is not insignificant, and does actually need to get done. So I spend most of Summer absolutely harried trying to fit a years worth of living into about 9 weeks (whoever started the rumor that teachers get 3 months off is full of crap!). And here it is, it will be August in 30 minutes and what do I have to show for it besides a gigabyte or so of gorgeous pictures of my kids and friends and family? Ha ha. Of course that's what I have to show for it! It has been a delightful Summer.

Oops, I forgot

I have this OTHER blog that I started a while back and it's been so long that I just wanted to start over.  But I thought I'd LINK to it at least.  I'm not sure WHY I had to start over completely.  What does that say about me?  Now I have something to ponder and overanalyze.  I think it's the shame of having left it for so long.  And now I'm linking because of the guilt over my abandonment.  I have issues.

http://worrygirl73.blogspot.com/

More Staying Home!

So, the effort of going out and doing stuff is exhausting I've decided.  Not just with the kids, but me, as an adult, getting together with other adults to do adult things.  

Situation number 1: Hiring or finding a babysitter.  Making arrangements to meet friends.  Having friends be non-committal or flaky.  Having a babysitter with nothing to do.  

Situation number 2:  Having someone volunteer to babysit for free at last minute.  Gathering the troops without much warning, getting them fed, dressed, packed, ready.  Carting them across town.  Trying to get MYSELF looking presentable.  Calling around trying to find something to do.  Going out and feeling ready to go to sleep after one drink.

Situation number 3:  Making plans ahead.  Sending kids to Grandma's for the weekend.  While getting ready to go out after a long week, realizing that I'll never make it for the 11 pm meeting time because I'm so exhausted.  End up being a flake and watch a movie on the couch alone.

It just hardly feels worth it!

But I MISS adult companionship.  And I'm not just talking about dating.  Because yes, while there are parts of having an attractive member of the opposite sex to lock lips with that would be nice, I really DON'T miss the emotional roller coaster.  I just miss being social.  With people who don't ask me what every other word I say means, and who can respond with something insightful, but mostly with people who I'm not responsible for!  Whose bad behavior I can laugh at and I don't have to be a role model so I can swear or tell dirty jokes or... well, you know.

My solution?  Tapas Tuesdays!  I decided that during the summer, I am going to have an open house every Tuesday.  I'll make it a regular thing and even if I only get 1 person, there will be someone to talk to who understands 3 syllable words.  I'm making it a family friendly event but am really hoping that people who don't have kids will stay later and mine will go to bed just like the children in The Sound of Music and then the fun will really begin.  Maybe, maybe we'll play speed scrabble or something crazy like that!  

In conclusion, I am too much of a lazy ass to go out, so instead, I'm bringing the party home!

Maybe it will be a dance party like this:

Staycationing in lovely SE Portland!

Yesterday I felt a little down seeing all the facebook updates for people with fabulous memorial day weekend plans.  To me, the effort of figuring it all out, the stress of doing it and then coming home to a million things that didn't get done because we weren't here to do them is daunting.  I usually prefer to stay home and just hang with my kids on the weekends.  Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't plan more outings, trips and playdates, as well as "find a new daddy" (ha ha ha) dates for me.  I'm not sure why I feel guilty except that in our go, go, go world everyone else is doing something.  And I really love to get out and do stuff, but not at the sacrifice of my ONLY downtime in a week.  In fact, my best weekend is one day where the kids and I do NOTHING and then the next day we do chores, maybe go to the store, play outside and that's it.   

Getting to the point, I impulsively picked up a copy of Real Simple magazine while buying frozen pizza for Friday night dinner because it promised to help me organize EVERYTHING.  I was disappointed that just reading the article didn't work.  I went upstairs and the contents of my closet were still on my bed, the chair and the ironing board along with a bag full of 2 weeks worth of mail along with another bag full of all the stuff I hauled up there when people came over last week and I needed the downstairs to look like how normal people live.  It also didn't contain any pictures!  What???  You want me to read your %^&*) text?  Just show me a picture so I can improvise.  I don't want to read it!  The article itself was a bust, but, there was a small blurb in the middle of the magazine somewhere about Staycations.  You're supposed to say "Non Voyage".  That was really all the magazine had to say about it, but it was enough.   I decided to roll with it and now instead of the lame-o, boring mom who never plans fun stuff, I am the hip, environmentally aware, recession-era mom who plans "Staycations"!  

The first rule of staycation:  Stay up as late as you want.  (Translation: I was so into my projects tonight that I let the kids fall asleep on the couch.  You decide, bad momma or really cool staycation momma?)

We haven't come up with anymore staycation rules, but we'll keep you posted.